我覺得我們無法再度經歷這些可怕的時刻
而這次我將無法從中逃離。
我開始聽到聲音,無法專心.
因此我要做那看來是最明智的事情.你
給了我
最大的幸福
各方面都是這麼全心
全意的付出,我不認為兩個
人在這可怕的疾病來臨之前,可以
更快樂.我無法再與它對抗了.我知道,我
毀了你的生活,沒有我,你
可以工作.我知道你會的.
你看我,連這樣的意思都表達不好.寫的詞不達意.
我想說的是,
我要將這一生的幸福全都歸功於你.
你一直對我極有耐性而且
體貼入微.
這一點每個人都知道.
如果有人能夠救得了我,那一定是你.
當一切都已離我遠去的時候,僅存的
是你始終不渝的體貼.我
不能再繼續毀了你的生活.
沒有人,
能比我們曾經所擁有的更快樂.
維吉尼亞
英文原文
Dearest, I feel certain I am going mad again.
I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times.
And I shan't recover this time.
I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate.
So I am doing what seems the best thing to do.
You have given me the greatest possible happiness.
You have been in every way all that anyone could be.
I don't think two people could have been happier
till this terrible disease came.
I can't fight any longer.
I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work.
And you will I know.
You see I can't even write this properly.
I can't read.
What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you.
You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good.
I want to say that - everybody knows it.
If anybody could have saved me it would have been you.
Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness.
I can't go on spoiling your life any longer.
I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.
V.
註: 我開始聽到聲音,應是指吳爾芙重度憂鬱症發作的時候,產生的幻聽。
沒有留言:
張貼留言